Fade

Shaking leaves and paper cups. The pen trembles in my hand as I attempt yesterday's crossword 1. Across: When things slowly go away. Answer: fade. My resolve spills on the page. A splash of ink and tea stains. This is who I am for now. A little careworn but okay. Sensitive some say. I curl and paw, never coil and strike. These days my cheeks blush when I get excited. I stutter and laugh inappropriately. I listen to songs on repeat, starting over before they have the chance to fade. I hear myself say, I was a casualty. A lonely bench in the middle of town. A temporary place anchored permanently.

*flowers in a field - Oct. 2008/somewhere between the palace of versailles and petit trianon - france