...but when talking to the bank teller or anyone who might know better her voice would turn sweet and soft with a slight inflection of apology rising at the end of each word. "thank you" she would say, making you feel like you were the most gracious person on earth. it was a line in a play, the tone of voice and staging she had learned. to be meek and always almost apologizing. she thought it would get her far but so far she has only stood quiet and still in one place. it is here in this space that thought and action have no effect on words. This emptiness grew on her, until finally in her and she became like the bottom of the well uncovered behind the old house. On some days, cold, dark, and alone except for the occasional fall of muffled echoes. Rain water collects and stays for days, damp walls, turning cement into sediment. Brown stone moss covered walls. It takes years for the moss to grow. Lush and clinging weaving their body along the surface. No one drinks here anymore. She looks in to the deep dark cool, and in a small voice says, "Hello."

down the line

On names

I love that telescopes have these names: the "Very Large Telescope," the "Extremely Large Telescope" and the "Overwhelming Large Telescope." Out of all the fancy hard to pronounce scientific names that could have been chosen someone (or some committee)went with the above. It sort of illustrates how dumbfounded and speechless humankind is when faced with the vast immensity of the universe and whatever else is out there. I do appreciate how simple and direct the names are, and wish more things were named with such functionality in mind. Well done science!

Now I'm going to take a sip from my "Moderately Sized Plastic Water Bottle That Could Clog Up Landfills if Not Recycled" aka "smart water." pffft.

at this exact moment

At this exact moment I feel eyelid heavy tired. sitting slumped on the sofa. my throat is sore. my skin cool and damp from sweat and humidity. my right elbow is resting on my fat cat b as he sleeps with his paw thrown over his eyes to block out light from the lamps nearby. i'm in the middle of picking up myself and my things after a whirlwind of a week. i think all my leaves fell early this year. swept up in a gust of wind from a summer storm. rainstorm on sunday, it poured and poured until it stopped and poured again. in the pause everything is left saturated with a damp heat that chokes the air making it hard to breathe or think. so we go and go until we stop and go again. like learning to drive a car, stick shift.

at this exact moment. i am listening to the fan in the window. thinking about how tired i am. it is quiet. and i am ready for sleep.

Squirrel

There is this squirrel that lives in my backyard. This squirrel is well fed and plucky. One day I saw him munching away on what looked like a baguette. He eyed me cautiously, protecting his french cuisine. This same squirrel likes to dig up my potted plants on my balcony. Most recently he knocked over and broke one of my planters. He sits on the roof in front of my kitchen window and chirps like a mad man off his meds, probably making rude remarks to female squirrels skirting the tree branches below. This squirrel is a bit of a nuisance in the neighborhood. My landlord haphazardly mentioned that he was trying to trap a squirrel. "I KNOW THAT SQUIRREL" I proclaimed. He hides in a little hole next to the garage. The trap laced with a slice of poisoned cheese tied with a string to a nut, is placed next to my bike. Whenever I get my bike out of the garage I inevitably trigger the trap. Yesterday, I was moving my bike out of the garage and I heard the familiar "chirp chirp chirp" and rustle of leaves above me. There he was, the fat squirrel in a tree, twitching his tail and either cursing or laughing at me. I stood still and we remained like that for a while, sizing up the other. I think he knows what the trap is and isn't falling for the nut/cheese ploy. He's a crafty creature though I wish him no harm, but I do wish he would stop digging up my plants and to be quite honest I'm a little afraid he's going to attack me. When we were staring at each other I saw a glint in his eyes, not like any other squirrel.